I think this is funny so enjoy!

COWBOY WISDOM-author unknown
Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.
Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. (AMEM)
Keep skunks, lawyers and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plough around a stump.
A bumblebee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are wispered, not yelled.
Meanness don't happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
Don't sell your mule to buy a plough.
Don't corner something meaner than you.
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You can't unsay a cruel thing.
Every path has some puddles.
When you wallow in pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Don't judge people by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
It's better to have been a has-been than a never-was.
The easiest way to eat a crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swallow.
If you find yourself in a whole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
If it don't seem like it's worth the effert, it probably isn't.
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of influence, try orderin' someone else's dog around.
Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a lot bigger'n you think.
Only cows know why they stampede.
Always drink upstream from a herd.
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.
Good judgement comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgement.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
You can't tell how good a watermelon is 'till they get thumped.